求大神批改雅思9 test1 大作文，谢谢

我们想要提高雅思作文，多看范文，是非常有帮助的，下面是为大家整理的关于雅思大作文范文三篇的相关资料，希望帮到大家。

雅思大作文范文一：

在学习的时候分心做其他事情好不好

While I prefer to put away my cellphone when doing homework, I can see how some students could benefit from having a cellphone around. I think it is fine for students to use cellphones while studying as long as they can stay focused.

One reason is that many students are accustomed to studying with music. They find that certain types of music puts them into a study mode, and that music can make the monotony of studying more bearable. My friend, for example, has a hard time sitting in one place unless she plays classical music. Normally she is very high-energy and distractible, but while listening to classical music, she calms down and becomes highly focused. For students like her, a cellphone is a highly useful study aid. It allows her to bring her music with her anywhere, so she is not limited to just studying in her room where her stereo is.

Another reason is that students sometimes need to use the internet to do research or check assignments, but it is not always possible or desirable for them to carry a laptop around. In these situations, a cellphone is a good substitute. I remember one time when I had to complete a history assignment while on a family vacation. There wasn’t access to the internet where we were going, so my laptop would have been useless for research. Instead, I used my cellphone’s 3G connection to do research and wrote the assignment by hand. The vacation was much more relaxing because I didn’t have to lug my heavy laptop and charger around, and I still finished the assignment on time.

Some will point out that cellphones can potentially distract students from their work. This is true, but in my experience they are far less distracting than laptops, which students use quite frequently for schoolwork. Cellphones have much smaller screens and generally take more effort to use, so students are less likely to waste time on them reading blogs or playing games. It simply isn’t as satisfying to procrastinate on a cellphone—laptops are much better for that. Plus, if you’re writing a paper on your laptop, your web browser is just a couple of clicks away. If you’re writing by hand with a cellphone next to you, it’s a bit less easy to put down your pencil, pick up your phone, unlock it, and open a browser.

While I don’t personally use cellphones while studying unless absolutely necessary, I think that they can be helpful for a lot of students. It’s true that cellphones can be distracting, but they’re less damaging to productivity than laptops, so I think it’s hard to argue that students shouldn’t use them.

雅思大作文范文二：

探索太空是否是资源浪费

It is a waste of time to spend funds on space travel or space exploration.

Nowadays, an increasing number of citizens are discussing the recent launch of ShenZhou carrier rocket. While there are some people who claim that this kind of launch is a waste of money or time because it could not bring any benefits for citizens, I hold a different opinion. From my perspective, space exploration is necessary.

Admittedly, space travel or space exploration would waste a large sum of money. By spending much money on doing research regarding outer space life, government loses their focus on civil life where many people are suffering from starvation, air pollution and epidemics. Under this circumstance, there is no doubt that people would complain about government’s aloft behaviors. However,if viewing from a different angle, space exploration is a long time investment. Never should we expect the journey would bring immediate economic returns to the country. In this case, space travel and space exploration is quite helpful for the country.

To begin with, space exploration might bring benefits for us to search for new energy resource. That is to say, other planets may be rich in certain kinds of resources that are in great shortage on the earth. According to the report released after the exploration to the Mars, the officials from NASA confirms that Mars contains a great volume of natural gas and iron. Moreover, engineers have also noticed that these resources on the planet are able to explore, and if they could solve the problem of long time transportation, these resources could be used on the earth. Consequently, the use of natural gas will not consume burning of petroleum and make our planet a better place to live in.

In addition, space exploration aims to improve level of technology. In other words, it is the development of advanced technology that makes it possible to explore the outer space. It is usually the case that without the technology of launching satellite into the space, it is impossible for people to conduct research. As a result, scientists have to improved their knowledge in related areas so that they could guarantee the launch of these rockets, as well as satellites. Meanwhile, to ensure astronauts’ safety in the outer space, scientists have to repeated work on their suits in order to keep astronauts away from radioactivity. Also, to fill with enough oxygen, scientists have to run encapsulation tests again and again. Only if these equipment are guaranteed can astronauts be safely working in the outer space.

To sum up, the seemly useless space exploration would cost a large sum of moneyhowever, this space activity could still bring benefits in both new energy searching and technology improvement.

雅思大作文范文三：

养宠物能带来哪些益处

The issue whetherkeeping pets could benefit children might trigger intense debate amongindividuals. Some might argue that pets could bring both intangible andtangible advantages to children, citing the reason that pets might help toexplore the meaning of love and responsibility. However, from my perspective, iwould disagree with their statement.

First, keepingpets could incur some health problems, because pets are often unhygienic due tothe rather dirty environment where they were born or raised up, which mightlead to the result that pets such as kittens or puppies would carry parasitesand potential virus which threaten the health of children. Cat hairs mightfloat in the air while fleas might originate from puppy heads. Even if the petsare born in hygienic or professional clinics, their instinct nature of playingwild would drive them and the homes to be unclean and insanitary which greatlyharm the healthy growing of children.

Furthermore, petsmight interrupt the studies of children, considering the fact that their livelycharacter matches the natural demanding for fun of the children. Running andhiding around the corners in the house, purring and barking for a touch ofcare, dogs and cats would easily draw the attention from their little ownersand disrupt their focus on a specific and difficult mathematical question or aconcentration on the development of a composition idea. To apply the abovepoint further, in a long run, children accompanying their pets would experiencea decline in their academic performance and ruin the prospect of their future.

Admittedly,children do learn the meaning of caring and responsibility from their pets dueto the fact that they have to take time everyday to handle the food, water andshelter for their beloved ones. And they could also acquire seemly genuineenjoyment and happiness from playing with their pets. But those enjoyment couldbe attained from other safer and simpler ways, specifically games or arts,other than pets. The mental benefits such as the sense of responsibility andcaring could be narrowed and segmentary because the emotion of animals cannotbe as difficult and sensitive as that of humans. Children might be depressedand desperate when they find they don’t pay off as they give. The world doesnot operate as children do with their pets.

In conclusion, keeping pets would not bring as many benefits as we think to children. Instead,it often ends up doing more harms to them. To ensure the healthy development ofchildren, we must not let them have their pets.

以上就是雅思大作文范文三篇的内容，希望对大家有所帮助哦。

benefit of learning a range of traditional disciplines:

(1) expand their outlook, acquire diverse konwledge, improve their employability

(2)help students to discover which subject they like, so they can focus on this subject

disadvantage:

students do not have enough time and energy to learn so many courses ,which may lead to a failure to all the subjects

be more specialized and pay attention to some particular classes excluding general ones

advantages:

can specialize in one favorite skills ,devote all the time to study it, which can assist the student to a expert in this field.

disadvantages:

students do not learn general ones will have no chance to get a admission to university. if some student want to pusue their studies in the future

2

i agree with

two reasons

(1) they realise the importance of environmental protection, in the past peple focused on the exteiror appearance and practiality of buildings

(2) people have realised the importance of exercise society . therefore, it is understandable that new buildings were constructed without destructing sports courts and equipment.

剑桥雅思10

Test1给我们提供了一篇3.5分的小作文，为此特发此文，提供一篇质量高一些的文章，希望能给想要拿高分的鸭鸭一些有价值的参考。尤其是在语言多样性和信息连接性方面。

(p.s.为了阅读此文便利，特意将汉语版陈列如下，同时也让鸭鸭们感受汉语和英语之间的转化过程。)

这两个饼状图显示了能源在澳大利亚家用和温室气体排放的信息。

The

two

pie

charts

illustrate

statistical

information

respectively

regarding

how

energy

is

used

in

an

average

Australian

household

and

the

greenhouse

gas

emissions

that

result

from

these

energy

uses.

我们先来谈谈澳大利亚的能源使用情况。heating占据了整体的能源消耗的最大比例，42%。而the

figure

for

water

heating也占据了一个大的比例，仅比heating低那么一点，30%。相比之下，refrigeration，lighting，cooling只占了比较小的一部分比重，分别占据7%，

4%和只有2%。之后，剩下的15%的能源消耗是用在其他家电上的。

First

let

us

talk

about

the

energy

consumption

of

household

facilities

in

Australia.

Heating

possesses

the

largest

proportion

of

total

energy

usage

in

family

unit,

accounting

for

42%,

followed

by

the

figure

for

water

heating

which

also

occupies

a

large

percentage

with

30%.

In

contrast,

the

data

for

refrigeration，lighting，cooling

are

much

less

significant,

7%,

4%

and

only

2%

respectively.

Finally,

the

remaining

15%

of

the

consumption

is

used

on

other

appliances.

再看看以上提到的这些家电的温室气体排放情况，与上图存在很大不同。首先，能耗最大的heating在温室气体排放方面略有逊色，以15%的比重排在第三。而最多的温室气体排放来自于water

heating，32%。

相比之下，refrigeration，lighting，cooling的温室气体排放量几乎都是它们的能源使用量的两倍。其他家电所产生的CO2，占据了剩下的28%。

As

for

the

situation

of

greenhouse

gas

emissions

from

the

appliances

mentioned

above,

it

largely

differs

from

the

last

pie.

First,

heating,

which

consumes

the

greatest

amount

of

energy,

shows

a

smaller

share

in

greenhouse

gas

emission,

listed

in

the

third

place

with

a

proportion

of

15%,

while

the

biggest

share

of

emissions

is

from

water

heating

(32%).

By

comparison,

proportions

of

greenhouse

gas

emissions

in

refrigeration,

lighting

and

cooling

almost

double

their

figures

for

energy

use.

CO2

derived

from

other

appliances

consist

of

the

remaining

28%.

根据这两个饼状图，heating是最为环保的家电，而water

heating不仅能耗大，CO2的排放量也相当大。refrigeration和lighting虽然能耗比较小，但是温室气体的排放量也比较大。

Overall,

it

is

noticeable

that

heating

is

the

most

environmentally

friendly

appliance

while

water

hearing

not

only

consumes

more

energy

sources

but

also

give

out

the

most

carbon

dioxide.

Meanwhile,

although

refrigeration

and

lighting

consume

less,

they

emit

more

as

well.

TIPs：文章的语言的多样性取决于主语的多样性和灵活性，该篇所用主语的形式如下：

1.

Heating——题目中所给的名词

2.

the

data

for

refrigeration，lighting，cooling——“数据”作主语

3.

the

remaining

15%——数字作主语

4.

the

biggest

share/proportions

of

greenhouse

gas

emissions——比重词作主语

5.

CO2——题目中greenhouse

gas的同义改写作主语

6.

they——代词作主语

信息之间的链接，请参看文章中的标注

希望此文能让更多鸭鸭们找到雅思小作文的写作思路和写作灵感。

1,最重要的：最后一段最好重新写

雅思小作文写作一个重要的要求就是客观,不要加任何的主观的因素上去。况且任务要求里没有让你做对未来的预测。

所以最后只需要把前面的总结一下，然后挑选出main feature来说明一下。比如可以说“这几年见证了固话和手机使用量的稳步提升”就可以了。

2.第二段主体段写的细节很多,但层次不是很清晰，每个时段都做了对比但感觉像是流水账。可以做如下修改：按照三种通话方式来分别写，写出他们各自最主要的特征。比如Local一只最高然后经理上升下降,现在仍保持最高；另外两种都在上升；再写一下始末峰值就好了；然后在必要的数据处做一下对比,比如最开始Local 是固话的2倍。最终两者仅相差10。

（主体段中选择main features还有作对比比较是很重要的，这里我只是提供一个思路）

语言方面还不错,句式比较多样。总体拿个6-6.5还是可以的